We Must Be our Own Best Friend
Aug 01, 2013 11:03AM
By Diane Goedecke
Self-talk can be very powerful and plays a big part in our overall health. On one hand, it can develop a healthy ego, build self-esteem, create confidence and help us strengthen problem-solving skills. But on the other hand, it can trigger ego deterioration, destroy self-esteem, lower confidence and create more problems in our life. How we communicate to ourselves in positive, rather than negative, ways allows us to become strong secure individuals.
In childhood, if we are made to feel not good enough, that might cause us to carry unfair judgments about ourselves. If we feel disadvantaged, physically challenged or different in some other way, it might cause us to judge ourselves negatively, but what purpose do these judgments serve? In nature, everything has value. Only human beings suffer from low opinions of themselves. A rose, a robin or a rabbit never feels that way; each flower has a fragrance, each bird a song and each animal a purpose, and so does each person.
We can replace negative words in our vocabulary with positive words. Rather than say, “I can't make a change,” or “I won't be able to do this right,” say, “I can make a change,” and “I will be able to do this right.” Negative self-talk encourages negative responses; positive words bring about positive changes.
We must choose our words carefully. Eliminate the terms should and ought to from self-talk. Both are based on expectations of others or what we believe to be appropriate, not what we think is really right for us. Each day, we pay attention to our physical needs by eating, exercising and sleeping. We also need to pay attention to our spiritual needs by allowing time each day for spiritual renewal.
Setting aside time for moments of self-reflection is the best way to pay attention to our spiritual needs. That might seem like self-indulgence, but it is one of the most responsible things we can do for our mental and physical health.
Taking time to identify areas that need rebuilding in our lives is one thing we can do to work on being healthy. We must remember when health is absent in mind, body and spirit, wisdom cannot reveal itself and strength cannot fight, wealth becomes useless and intelligence cannot be applied.
We need to be our own best friend. If a friend were telling us about a problem, we would listen and gently offer encouragement and advice. When we are confused and uncentered, one way we can restore our inner harmony and energy is by making contact with nature. Taking a walk on a nature trail or watching the sun set might help. Lying down on our balcony or in our backyard to look at the night sky might help to center us. We can also listen to the crickets or crush fresh herbs in the palm of our hand and smell the aroma.
When we are spiritually centered, we can see things more clearly, act more effectively and feel healthier. Accept responsibility for balancing our physical needs with spiritual ones. With proper self-talk, families achieve peace and harmony in their lives and children speak kindly to themselves, trusting their inner voice to achieve peace and harmony in their lives.
Diane Goedecke, MS, CNM, FNP-C, has been a nurse practitioner specializing in women’s health in Tucson since 1991. Contact her at 520-751-4321 or DianeGoedecke.com.