Boundaries, at the simplest level, can be defined as “where you stop and I begin”. They establish the limits we set on the kinds of treatment and behaviors we will accept from other people. Boundaries apply to different realms, including the physical, sexual, intellectual, emotional, spiritual, material and time aspects of our lives.

   

People with porous boundaries may have a hard time saying no and often please others at their own expense. They may be overinvolved in the lives of others and may take other people’s opinions too personally and discredit their own. At the other extreme, people with rigid boundaries may set so many rules that they leave no room in their life for anyone else. They may avoid vulnerability and intimacy by setting impossibly high standards for others.

   

These patterns aren’t rooted in who people actually are—they’re coping mechanisms that, when witnessed and understood, can make way for healthy boundaries at any stage of life. This process, which is both educational and exhilarating, often leads to much greater satisfaction and joy.