“I don’t even know what I want anymore,” a brilliant, weary woman said recently. “I seem to have lost my capacity for wanting.” A lot of women have shared this sentiment in different ways.
What do you want? What are your heart’s desires? Do you know?
We are, of course, trained to tame our wants and desires. Women are wired to care for others. We tend to look out for people, consider their feelings and needs, and have as a high priority that people around us are taken care of one way or another. This strong caregiving pull is there whether we happen to have given birth or not. It’s the mother energy and life force, and it’s a beautiful thing. But as with all things, balance and integration are key.
We can get a bit out of whack. Or, said another way, the frequency of our energy dips below the line into the shadow zone. Science and spirituality agree on this one—when we get all lackluster and dull, we literally vibrate at a lower frequency.
That can show up as feeling dried up and joyless, vaguely disappointed by life, overwhelmed and underappreciated or bogged down in a confusing swirl of ideas with no clear direction. Because we’re pretty good at functioning at a high level on top of all that, however, we can plunk along in life for quite a while before we say, “Enough is enough. I want to live a big, juicy, custom-built-for-me life.”
Where do you go for help with that “Vague Sense of Something Missing”? It’s not even tangible enough to complain about without feeling like a whiny, ungrateful twit. But no, you are absolutely not a whiny, ungrateful twit. Banish that thought from your head this minute, my friend. You are someone with a fierce, fun-loving, beautiful spirit in you that wants to come out and play. And part of you knows, deep down, that it’s been a bit neglected for a while. Maybe a long while.
Never mind, we are evolving beings, and let’s consider this the perfect time for you to give voice to aspects of you and your heart that have not been heard for a while. Here are three ways to tune into those deep desires.
Focus on feeling good. Feeling good is an excellent access to the higher energy bandwidths, which means it’s a great way to get in that light and happy zone where your inner being feels welcome to express itself. The better you feel, and the more you get conscious control and awareness of what you are vibrationally broadcasting, the more connected you become with your Self, your Soul, with others, with life force.
Let your heart and Soul know you’re listening now. Get curious about what’s at your core, your essence, and start posing questions (to your Self) along the lines of, “What would feel really good to you?” or, “In what way do you want to grow?” or, “What would absolutely delight you?” Then be still and see what answers come. (Note: Your Soul often speaks in the form of a fresh new thought!)
Start a running list of desires. We’re so used to having lists of things to do (or feel bad about not having done), it can seem daunting to make a list of things you want in your life. But this is most definitely not a to-do list. This is more of a “to be” list, a menu of beautiful ideas and options you can choose from whenever you like.
You might feel slightly stuck at first when you do this. When you haven’t had any attention on your longings and yearnings, you must give them time to bubble up to the surface.
Here are some desires others have expressed that you can use to jumpstart your own list: an environment that nourishes, calms and inspires me; work that uses my talents and is fulfilling; being loved, cherished and adored; the courage to make a big change; clarity about my purpose and path; adventures and travel; dancing.
Make it a practice to have this be more of an ongoing journaling exercise than a once-and-done affair. The more you tune into and honor your heart’s desires and your Soul, the less you need to keep looking outside for answers.
Listen for those yearnings, take actions in alignment with who you are at your essence—and you’ve got yourself a luscious life.Deb Beroset is a creative muse and mentor of delight serving and connecting soulful women with their magic and each other through Club Moxie, an online community. A coach, guide and creatrix with decades of experience (she was once called a “creative guru” by The Washington Post) Beroset offers an array of programs and workshops for the curious, conscious woman looking to live a full-tilt boogie life. Connect at ItsTimeForMoxie.com/club-moxie. See ad, page 11.